The news is bad



You might ask yourself "what is this"? It's a grainy cell phone picture of an accident that happened the other day a couple blocks away, in the early evening. I was on my way to the post office to get my latest Netflix package in for the last post (because I am obsessive about milking that membership dry) when I heard about 8 bazillion police cars a block away. Now, I am not a normally bloodthirsty person, but I wsa curious what was going on in my quiet residential naighborhood. This silver Mazda somehow managed to jump the curb and plow into a house on Oakhurst Drive. Newsworthy, huh? I would think so: it's not usual for cars to enter the living rooms of houses. Not unheard of, but not usual. I dutifully emailed it to the local newspaper, who didn't care to run with the story. Oddly, neither did the teeny throw-away Beverly Hills paper. The TV news of course didn't, since the Action McNewsTeam Helicopter wasn't right on the scene, or more likely perhaps Lindsay Lohan wasn't driving the car. I know what Britneys pubes look like, I know every detail of the sad saga of Anna Nicole Smith, and I feel as if I should have my own Oscar, what with all of the recaps (L. O. V. E. Helen Mirren, but can we move along?). What I don't know is why a car took out the corner and red-tagged a house firmly in the heart of 90210.

Thanks, Fourth Estate.