You knew it was going to happen- series 5 has hit before it defects to a rival network. So far there are a bunch of people who seem less interesting than the past seasons, and only two who are in the running for "most obnoxious": the first is "Suede" who refers to himself in the third person, as in "'Suede' would like a bagel." "In this competition, 'Suede' has no equal" or in my words, "Suede" needs to be slapped, hard and long. But elbowing "Suede" out of the way in the Obnoxioso sweeps surely must be the audibly tanned (props to Fran Lebowitz) Blayne. If only because his caramel colored skin and blond-wood hair resemble a rumpus room from "The Ice Storm". I want to feed him a Roofie, dye his hair brown and spread a thin layer of Jolen Creme Bleach on his skin, watch him tenderly as he slumbers and upon his awakening gently, sweetly hand him a mirror.
But that's not because I am bitter and old. No.