(props to my friend Sue for the title)
Okay, I get it. You love your furry friends. They are your children, your companions, the lights of your life. I don't want to suggest that you do away with them, but is it too much to ask that at 10:30 on a week night that you're at least HOME WITH THEM? So they might not be howling for you? Because you aren't paying my rent, and a cat would revenge itself by quietly pissing on your drycleaning.
Which would not keep me awake.