Tuesday, December 06, 2005


I like to collecct old telephones: the bakelite ones that Joan Crawford was always taking one earring off to answer. I remember the first one I got was a big clunky Western Electric 202. I plugged it in by my bed. One Saturday morning, the LA Times called me to ask me to subscribe.

At 8 am.

On Saturday.

Back in the day when people had one phone, it was in a niche in the hall downstairs. Ma Bell made the bells on those old phones loud enough that eventually (no answering machines, and it was considered polite to let the phone ring at least 12 times to leave the person time to get to the phone) someone in the house would hear it.

Now imagine that giant freaking gong going off 7 inches from your head.

When I move, the landlady is going to be very perplexed by the fingernail marks on my bedroom ceiling....

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