The Apple iPhone is coming out right around my birthday. Do I want it? Do I breathe?

Do I need it? Well, no. I have a perfectly servicable cell and a contract that runs for 16 more months with Verizon, and an iPod of my own.

So if there are any mystery shoppers out there, a bottle of Fleurs de Sel will be fine..

Just in case you're flush and out of ideas...